Episode 29: Quitting Instagram

Sometimes you have to get rid of stuff in your life so that you can make room for things that are more deserving of your time, energy, and attention. That's why this episode is about quitting and questions you could ask yourself before saying buh-byeeee! 

Connect with the host, Brittany Drake:

• On LinkedIn @copywritingbritt
• Visit Momhomie.com to read the blog for more WFH Mom realities
• Email any inquiries to momhomie@copywritingbritt.com

Thanks for listening, and you're doing great, mama!


Note: Looking for the WFH Survival Guide?... Well, I've been ashamed to admit this, but it's not done yet. However, I am ready to confess because if Netflix can fail hard on their live stream of Love is Blind Reunion (with a whole production team and crew) and ask for forgiveness, so can lil' ol' me.  Thank you for your patience, and it will be done very soon! 

Transcript

Brittany 0:02

Welcome to Mom Homie, a podcast that advocates work from home moms who want to balance their careers with their little ones in the mix. I'm your host, writer, fellow mom and family woman, Brittany Drake. Every two weeks I share my experience, what I've learned, and ideas and hopes of easing and affirming feelings about the work from home mom life. This month we're talking about quitting things that aren't working for you. I don't generally quit things easily or even encourage people to quit things. I'm actually quite the opposite and tell people that maybe they should stick in there for just a little bit longer to be sure of how they feel. However, I believe sometimes you do have to get rid of stuff in your life so that you can make room for things that are more deserving of your time, energy, and attention. That is why I'm getting rid of Instagram. Aw. I've struggled with Instagram for the last few years on both a personal and business level. Personally, I know I spend way too much time when I get distracted, and then I do that endless scrolling when I know I should be doing something else. I also don't care to share my life on it anymore because it feels too vulnerable with all the crazy things that are happening in the world. And now that I'm a mom, I feel especially vulnerable on Instagram. Professionally, I try to do all the things that the algorithm likes, like commenting and sharing and making videos and all of that, but it feels awkward to me sometimes and it feels really passive. I don't think it fosters real connection and it actually makes me feel more distant from my loved ones. And a good example of that is just, you know, having friends that I haven't talked to in months, but seeing their lives happening on Instagram and just tapping it and liking it and not actually engaging with them and being like, how was this? And you know, I'm not completely to blame because it is again, a passive sort of environment that Instagram has made with just it being so picture heavy and image heavy. And you know, while I don't mind the occasional happy picture here and there. I'm not someone who goes out and looks for those Instagramable moments or feels like I need to document everything in my life, and I actually find richer, more valuable conversations with my loved ones when I pick up the phone and call them. It's just one of those situations where the older I'm getting, the more I'm realizing that maybe Instagram isn't the space that I need to be on anymore and professionally. there's not a lot that you can take pictures of when it comes to copywriting so I just don't feel like my business is something that can thrive on Instagram. And it's not to say that other copywriters and other freelancers can't thrive on Instagram. They absolutely can, and I've seen it, but personally, I'm not someone who's selling classes. A lot of my clients don't find me on Instagram and I guess what I could say I was doing on there was sort of showing like the potential if someone wanted me to help them with their Instagram, cuz people do hire copywriters to help them with their Instagram, but I think I have enough of that on there, and I think I have enough business at the moment that I don't have to necessarily stick with Instagram, so that is a huge reason why I am quitting it, because I'm realizing that it's taking up a lot of my time and energy, but it's not actually doing anything for me. Another situation I had recently, which really opened my eyes, was I was scrolling through and I used to follow Snoop Dogg's page and his Instagram is something, I'll just say that. And not that there isn't entertainment in it, but there are some things on it that I'm like, you know, I just don't know if that is something to be shared. Sometimes the thing seems highly personal or it seems like, you know, it's at someone else's expense and I'm just like, yeah, I'm not somebody who wants to laugh at people unless they want me to laugh at them you know, so I'm like, yeah, I, I don't think I want to engage with this content anymore. And, and to be frank, I don't think he actually runs his own page. I don't think most celebrities do. So, you know, with that said, whoever is in charge of his page I just don't agree with what they're doing. I'm not saying this so that people can jump on this bandwagon and say, yeah, boo Snoop Dogg, like, whatever I don't think that, you know, I'm the one to dictate what should be on his Instagram. And I'm not saying let's cancel Snoop Dogg because I don't wanna do that. But again, like it was just content that I, I thought was questionable. So with all of that, said, there was something I saw. and I decided to comment about it because I had just done diversity, equity, and inclusion training, and I felt like, oh, okay, maybe this is a chance to kind of point out something that maybe other people don't see. And from what I can tell in this video, this woman was being harassed and while this was happening, People were filming, people were laughing, and in the meantime, like she's trying to shoo away this person that's bothering her. I left a comment, I think that this woman's being harassed. This was a comment I made on somebody else's comment, agreeing with them cuz they had said it didn't look consensual. Then somebody else commented on it and they were like, oh, well you know, it's this just a cultural thing. And I was like, the dancing I'm fine with. I'm like, sure, like the dancing I'm fine with, but I'm like at some point, like she wanted this dude to stop and he is not stopping. And I was like, to me, like we can't accept harassment as it being a cultural thing. It's just, it's unacceptable. Plain and simple. So, then they didn't say anything else, but then somebody else came in and they were like oh, well don't worry. No one's gonna touch you with a 10 foot pole. And I'm like, okay, well it's not about me, but whatever. So I didn't even bother to really engage with that person, cuz it didn't bother me. Like I, I don't feel like I'm gonna go cry in, you know, in a corner or anything like that, or that their comments were true. But thinking about Savannah and her being exposed to that sort of bullying on Instagram, I was like, there just isn't to me, a reason for me to be on here and for me have to put up with that. And if I were giving Savannah advice about that sort of situation, I would ask her a few questions about, you know, does she feel like she needs to be part of that space? Is it important to her? Is it entertaining for her? You know, and, and truthfully, like there's just some people that you can't reason with. And again, like, I'm not gonna fight someone on Instagram that I don't know, who's probably just a troll. So I was like, I think I need to take a step back and reevaluate like, where do I wanna spend my time and energy, even if it is on the internet, because a lot of people are like, oh, you know, you can, you can put on a persona or you can ignore the person on the other side. But at the end of the day, like these are all people or people made resources that are used to act as people. And I just for the longest have felt like Instagram allows this level of like bullying and not just from trolls, but also from people who are into cancel culture and people who like to call out other people. And you know, I'm not saying that there aren't reasons or places where that's appropriate, but it just feels like it happens a lot more on Instagram than it does any other platform So I was just like, yeah, I am done. I'm done. It's been fun. I've had an Instagram account for like 10 years now, and I'm at a point where I'm like, yeah, I just don't need to be on here. Coming to that conclusion, I wanted to just share a little bit more about like the thought process behind that. If you're in the same boat or if you're wondering, like where you should spend your time on social media. If you wanna spend your time on social media. And I wanna say this decision wasn't a sudden one. I thought about it for weeks. And what made me feel good about my decision is listening to two separate episodes of The Savvy Social Podcast with Andrea Jones. She interviewed two women. One of them was Shannon Siriano Greenwood, and the other one was Renee Lindo. And both of them have drastically limited their focus to LinkedIn. So I felt empowered and inspired to do the same. However, I wanna go over some questions to ask yourself before you quit anything so you feel confident in your decision. But first we gotta obviously do our affirmation and that is quitting doesn't mean I gave up. It means I did what was right for. Okay, so now we are going to take a break. Hey, Brittany here. This is not a commercial. It's a moment for you mama to take a break and go pee, grab a snack or take a breath. So go ahead, put me on pause. I'll wait. Okay, so we are back, and the first question that I want you to ask yourself if you're quitting anything is, is my relationship with the thing I'm quitting healthy? That's like a super easy place to start, and usually you can answer that question quickly with a yes or no. And I would say go with your gut on this, because a lot of what a relationship takes is intuition and just trusting yourself. And if your intuition is saying, no, this is not a healthy relationship, then it's probably right. And then you can explore that deeper if you need to and to explore that if you want, you can pull out a notepad and write down the pros and cons. And you can also maybe make a list of things that maybe you don't like, but that you can, you know, learn to get comfortable with or things that you love and that can kind of help you figure out where's the balance in that. Because I think in life we live having relationships to different things, whether they are human animal, or in this case, digital. Don't be afraid to evaluate your relationship with the different things and ask yourself, is this healthy. The next thing I have on the list is to ask yourself, what did my life look like before the thing I wanna quit, and what will it look like after I quit it? So for example, if you are someone who offered a certain service in your business and you're finding that that service no longer is something that feels good to you when you do it and you're maybe a little resentful about having to do it, then you know, ask yourself, what did my life look like before I offer this service, and what will it look like if I take it away? And if you feel like it's going to create more room in your life to take on things that you do like with your services, then go ahead and go in that direction and explore that a little bit more and know that, you know, the worst thing that could happen is that you maybe have to bring it back. Or if you have a couple of clients that are grandfathered in, you know, you can feel comfortable knowing like they're the only ones that have this special thing, so that you don't have to necessarily start over with another client. The third thing that you should ask yourself is, should I notify anyone? The answer I'll say is yes, Because anytime you're changing any sort of habit or any sort of major thing in your life or resource, whatever it is, you wanna have support behind that and you want to, you know, make sure that people know where you're at. If you're a business or in if it's personal, you want to, you know, make sure that someone's in your corner. you know, hold your hand and to, you know, help you do what you feel is right and to support you in that. And for example, with me quitting Instagram, I had mentioned it to my husband a few times and he was like, yeah, do it. You should. And he's like, I did it. I feel so much better. And he is like, I don't miss it at all. And I was like, oh, okay. And I said, well, you know, it's cuz of my business. I was like, I, I don't necessarily know if it's a good thing for my business and you know, he just asked me a few things about it and, and you know, was telling me some interesting things about these troll farms. He said which are like, I forget which country he said, but I was like, a what? So apparently there are they're not actual farms, but there are institutions of people who just work to ruffle feathers on the net, on, you know, the different social media platforms. And I was just like, oh, wow. That seems really sad. So yeah, so notify someone. It doesn't have to be this huge declaration, but if you want, you can you know, confide in your mentor or confide in a loved one, or you could tell your audience that way again, they know where to find you. So I'm in a space right now where I'm like, I don't know, like should I go on Instagram saying I'm leaving Instagram or should. Do it. So we'll see what happens. But if you heard it here, then I will be moving to LinkedIn and paying a little bit more attention to that. I'm still finding my footing, so please be patient with me if things seem a bit inconsistent. But yes, if you are a fan mom, homie, whether that's the blog or the podcast or both when they're finding value, please do follow me on LinkedIn where I'll be giving you updates and also just, you know, living my best life. The fourth question I have is, what will I lose or what will I gain? Social media in particular, what you'll lose is probably part of your audience. Not everyone wants to shift where they find you, but if you feel like you'll gain a more I should say, richer audience on another platform because you will be making more connections and you will have that discourse and you do feel, you know, that you can make more progress in a year than you did on another platform or whatever it is again, that you're quitting. Then I would say go ahead and make that move. And whether you want to make a slow transition out of one to the other, or you wanna try both for a little bit to see, you know, where that leaves you. By all means, I encourage you to come up with a plan that works best for you, but in my case, I'm am gonna probably just go cold Turkey. I've kind of already left. I haven't posted anything on Instagram in like the last two or three weeks. Do what works for you and your business and not just for your business, but also just for your own peace of mind and your own mental wellness, because I know that. it can be hard to make decisions by your business because you're going with what you think is best and what you've researched versus what your health is telling you. So just think about that and decide, you know, is this something that I'll gain more from down the end, even if I do lose a little bit to begin with? And the last question I have is, what if I regret my decision and want it back? A lot of the times that's not a problem. We're not dealing with other people in terms of, you know, you and your significant other. So if you are like, actually I want to go back, you absolutely can. There are ways to ease your way back into different platforms and once you leave them, or if you've taken a long break, I've seen people leave for like a year and come back and they're like, Hey, sorry I was gone for a year, but I'm back. And we can't be afraid to feel regret. I think that there are lessons to be learned when we regret things, and I think that in general it gives us a moment of pause to really think it through and do our due diligence. And so if you are worried about regretting your decision, then you may need to do a little bit more research, or you may need to come up with a plan that's gonna allow you to have a smoother transition when you're quitting. Moms, do you have something to say or add about the work from home mom life? I'm looking for a diverse array of guests who want to share their experience, knowledge, and support to offer solutions that make work from home mom life easier. If this sounds like something you want to be a part of, contact me using the info in the show notes. Thanks. Now back to the show. Okay, so to wrap up today's episode, whatever you're quitting, I just wanna let you know I'm proud of you. It's not easy to let go of things that you feel obligated to use or have or the other people in businesses that are being pushed in your face. I said this before, but I do think having a business is a relationship and they don't all work the same as the next person's business. In a relationship, there are things that we will accept and other things that we won't tolerate, and the same principles should apply to your business. If you're not sure where to start, make a pros and cons list, as I mentioned before, and before you move to the next thing, write three things you absolutely want and three things that are absolute deal breakers. And I know you've probably heard this before when it comes to finding the right mate in your life and things like that, they're like, go ahead, write down three things that you, you know, really want in your partner, and three things that you're like "no way" and in a way it's teaching you how to manifest the thing that you want. So if you are somebody who is like, I don't know what's gonna work for me, just do your research, go out with intention and manifest that, you know, because there is a place for you and there is, you know, the right thing for you. It just takes time to find it sometimes. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope you feel supported and encouraged to keep being the wonderful mother you are, while sustaining balance with your career. If there is something in particular you want to know more about or would like to share, I'll leave my contact info in the show notes for you. Bye now.